It is easy to say “every crisis is a chance.” If you get into an existential crisis, it´s not easy at all.
Personally, the bankruptcy last year and the financial distress 24 months before has taken it out of me. I had invested a great deal of heart in the company, and so economic problems have been a significant burden.
I may write about the causes of the bankruptcy in a separate blog. Here’s to mention that we’ve had two years of heavy losses. Thanks to the tremendous performance of the executives and employees the overall operational performance was in most parts excellent. We paid all the interest, serviced about half of the debt, delivery-rate was almost 100%, and the monthly cash flow improved, although we were barely able to cope with the extreme consultancy costs of around € 2,000,000 pa. That’s why I had until the end hope that we could save the family business in its 4th generation.
Until the very last end, I had tried to refinance the company – and the final days there was an apparent glimmer of light to refinance everything and to buy the company from the bankruptcy estate.
It was not supposed to be.
When everything was in vain, I had a small discharge depression for around six weeks. I had nothing to do. For two years I had a full schedule and a 60-80-hour week and no vacation. All in all, it was more than 25 years that I invested most of my energy in the company. Then suddenly gaping emptiness.
Yawning emptiness – interrupted by questions like “What did I miss?” “Where did I make wrong decisions?” “What could I have done better?”.
As a Christian, faith gave me much support. On the one hand, this is a basis in life that was a firm foundation, and on the other hand, the commandment of forgiveness prevents to become bitter in such a situation. Still, it was not easy to accept the outcome. However, God is good, and that’s what I was able to experience again.
What also helped me enormously the whole time was that my wife and my family were completely behind me. I am deeply grateful for that. I know, this cannot be taken for granted, but it is a very, very great gift!
We then worked together – my wife has cut down on private finances to the least since we had always invested all the money in the company and had to pay many bills (for example, consultants to rescue the company) privately.
In this situation, I realized that I have many sincere friends – even when I’m no longer influential. Of course, some act like they do not know me anymore, but all the more I was happy for old friendships and contacts.
What burdened me, among other things, months later, was the ex-employees. The executives and employees had fought hard for the company in the crisis and hoped to the last. The outcome was therefore very unexpected for many. I always felt very responsible for the employees, customers, and suppliers – and it was tough not to be able to do anything.
The first half of 2018 I was then allowed to support an ex-employee to restart the business in Rankweil, which he had bought from the bankruptcy estate. This start-up was very successful, and I was able to finish my part of the project at the end of August 2018.
At the end of summer, the garden was my main task (new wooden terrace, drainage, raised bed). If you then move over 8 tons of material manually, physically exhausted, you can let off steam. Thus, the stressful time has disappeared, and I’m ready for new things.
I have gained some experience — experiences that I did not want to make, but that made me grow – experiences that I can share with my management skills. In the end, I have a new perspective again.